Memories of Greg
If you have any specific memories of Greg - times with him, how he touched your life, thinks you'll cherish - please consider posting them here.  My intent is to share this with family, and possibly print some of them for a memory book.  I have had little to no contact with most of you, ever.  I never really got into filking -- although some of it sounds a lot like things Greg and I would naturally do, as musically inclined kids growing up.

Here's one memory I'll always carry with me.
In 1981, Greg left home to go to college.  Being the younger brother and pretty immature, I had never given much thought to what that meant, until the day he left.  He left not from home, but from Camp Susquehannock, a sports camp where our church held annual week-long retreats at the end of each summer.  As the car drove off,  the crisp morning air of the mountains brought me to my senses, and I realized that Greg, my daily playmate, mentor, rival, and cohort, was off to start a new life, and would never again be an active part of my daily life.  I broke down and cried for what felt like hours, ambushed by an overwhelming and unexpected sense of loss.

In the last few years, largely thanks to cell phones, Greg and I have grown closer and closer -- regaining much of the daily contact that I unknowingly treasured as a child.  Funny how things creep up on you.  Once again, I came to take this closeness for granted.  In an eerie echo of my childhood memory, this daily contact is gone again.  This time with a finality that will not be denied.

*sob*

(Post a new comment)

mdyesowitch 2008-01-28 12:29 pm UTC (link)

I posted a longer post in my journal (http://mdyesowitch.livejournal.com/468664.html) But here's my favorite memory of Greg: First trip by myself as an adult, Greg and Gwydion wouldn't let me pay for anything. I tried. And Gwyd shook it off silently but with a smile, and Greg took me aside and said that he was proud and honoured to pay for things, but that, like everything in life, it comes with a price. And he was serious and solemn as he told me the price he extracted for the favours, for the kindnesses, for the love he gave me with every breath. "When you're in a position, when you can, pay it forward. Give generously and open-heartedly to the people around you who need it." I think I laughed, because when you're 18 and in college it seems like there will never be a time when you're an adult, a self-sufficient, employed, productive member of society. "You'll get there." he said and hugged me. Because he always had faith in me. Even when I didn't have any in myself. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - darlene_ford, 2008-01-28 05:56 pm UTC

ohiblather 2008-01-28 12:38 pm UTC (link)

I've posted a few in my journal but here are more: Whenever I saw Greg at a convention, he was always smiling, friendly, and involved. He was a quiet, gentle man who never pushed himself into the limelight. Other memories: at a convention we both attended last year, I ended up sitting beside Greg at a singalong, and we shared a songbook. I remember being once again impressed by his voice, and how beautifully he sang. I told him so afterward, and he seemed a bit embarrassed but pleased. My strongest memory of Greg: his obvious love of singing and of the filk community. Whenever he sang, there was such joy on his face. (Reply to this)

telynor 2008-01-28 12:41 pm UTC (link)

I met Greg and Maya close to ten years ago, in an online environment, as so many of our friendships seem to be forged these days. We had other things in common, but when we discovered we were all into filking, we made plans to meet at Gafilk in January of 2000. My journal doesn't go back quite that far. My ex-husband and I stayed in a room just down the hall from Greg and Maya. We were all struggling, so my ex and I brought a crock-pot, and Greg and Maya chipped in for ingredients, and we had a pot of stew bubbling all the time. One of the nicest memories I have of them is sitting down in our tiny little hotel room and eating like kings, laughing over something that had happened earlier, and being happy even though we couldn't afford to go out to dinner and be with the whole big crowd of people. Looking back on that, it stands out as one of the happiest memories I have of Gafilk, the Georgia Filk Convention, head and shoulders above performances that were great and guests who were wonderful, and late night singing sessiions. Greg and Maya and me and my ex, laughing like crazy over homemade beef stew or chilli (it doesn't really matter what was in the pot, I don't think), and not wanting to be anywhere else but with those special people, in that moment. Greg was easy to be around-- he was the sort of person who made it easy to smile. He wasn't always ready with a joke, but when he was, it was a good one. So much of what I'm remembering about Greg today are just little things he did-- a pat on the shoulder or a hug, or a quick message to say he cared or was thinking of you. I'm at such a loss today. Your brother touched a lot of lives. (Reply to this)

	braider 2008-01-28 12:50 pm UTC (link)
	Greg was the person who gave me crash space at my first British filk convention, when I was talking about trying to find a youth hostel nearby. (There wasn't one, as it turned out, Milton Keynes not being a terribly touristy area.) (Reply to this)

sommerfeld2 2008-01-28 01:51 pm UTC (link)

I must have first run into Greg when I was a very new and very confused froshling at MIT in 1984. He provided friendly advice and guidance for the bewildered. I didn't run into him all that often but when I did he was always cheerful and helpful. Some years later I was one of the semi-regular non-APO hangers-on for a regular "first tuesday of every odd-numbered month" APO alumni blood donation trip. Greg had just gotten a new toy: the first generation Palm Pilot PDA (so this must have been in 1996 or 1997), and was proudly showing it off for all to see. And we were suitably impressed that its calendar could handle a "first tuesday of every odd-numbered month" recurring event. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - mdyesowitch, 2008-01-28 02:05 pm UTC

(no subject) - sommerfeld2, 2008-01-28 02:31 pm UTC

	madfilkentist 2008-01-28 01:59 pm UTC (link)
	Greg lived in the Boston area for some time and was a regular at MASSFILC meetings. No single event stands out in my memory, just that he was always smiling and cheerful and a pleasure to have around. (Reply to this)

	kitanzi 2008-01-28 02:02 pm UTC (link)
	Lots of memories, but one that stands out at the moment is this most recent Gafilk. I was at breakfast with him, Maya, and a bunch of other people and asked him how his karate was going. He seemed surprised and pleased that anyone cared, and promised to post more about it. He always seemed a little surprised when people were interested in his life, somehow. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - darlene_ford, 2008-01-28 05:59 pm UTC

tigerbright 2008-01-28 02:25 pm UTC (link)

As I said in my journal, one of the best things about Greg was that he was a devout Christian who lived an ethical life, without hypocrisy, and was never the sort of person who proselytized or interpreted the Bible in a harmful way. More Christians should be like that - showing, not telling. I am Jewish; we say to mourners, "May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion." And I hope all these lovely stories bring you comfort, too. (Reply to this)

badgerthorazine 2008-01-28 02:31 pm UTC (link)

I confess to not knowing him as well as I might have if I'd been more involved in filking earlier on in my admittedly fairly short fandom life. But--he was always ready for a hug, and had a fabulous voice, and was always amused when I did what I no longer do, fall off of the chair in a filksing because of someone's demented/sweet/mind-bogglingly silly songs. IIRC, I might be wrong, but I think he was one of the earliest people to help me off of the floor...Back then I was a lot less of a name storage person than I have become in the past few years. :P Quiet joy...that's what I remember, and an excellent hugger, and a devestatingly brilliant mind. (Reply to this)

	filkerdave 2008-01-28 03:38 pm UTC (link)
	I'll get to my memories in a but, but can I suggest that you enable anonymous replies on this entry so that filkers who don't have LJs can add their memories as well? (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - smcmullan, 2008-01-28 04:50 pm UTC

autographedcat 2008-01-28 03:41 pm UTC (link)

Reposted from my own LJ: Greg was one of the first regulars on #filkhaven, even back before fleetfootmikeRN and I set up filknet.org and moved it there. In recent years, he hasn't been on as much...many of the really early people that defined the #filkhaven community have gone away, much to our loss, but he still would pop on every now and again. Greg and I were very much alike in some respects, and very different in others. Mostly, we shared geek/computer interests and similar tastes in reading. We differed on matters of politics and religion, but that was okay. It's ok to have different opinions about things. It never kept us from being friends. I think my fondest memory of Greg was on #filkhaven, nearly 10 years ago now. He and Amanda Marlowe and I were all chatting about random things, as you do, and they got to talking about an idea for a Barrayar filk that one or the other of them had an idea about. I politely listened to them toss ideas back and forth, and finally said "What on earth are you two talking about?" They both turned to me incredulously. "You mean you've never read Lois McMaster Bujold??" they cried. I admitted that I hadn't, but that I'd just acquired a copy of Barrayar from bedlamhouseRN and ladyatRN, who were purging duplicates from their library. I put it on top of my to-read pile, and immediately upon reading it started scouring used bookstores for more. I remember that at that time Greg was only just starting to date Maya, taking long breaks from channel to talk to her on the phone and them coming back very happy and excited. I got to meet both of them in person at Gafilk.....3, I think. He was a very easy person to sit and chat with. My most recent memories are two weekends ago. Greg was pulled onto the My Filk panel at the last moment, to fill in for someone who had vanished from the room. Debbie has a great photo of him on the panel, laughing uproariously. That's how I like to remember him -- laughing. He had a tremendous unrestrained laugh, and clearly took great joy in being at the con and surrounded by his friends. Larissa and I had breakfast with him and Maya and Beth and Michelle over at the Barbecue Kitchen, and they thoughtfully covered our tab until we got back to the hotel when I had forgotten that the restaurant only took cash. Through him, I got to know Maya over the years, and she is also a dear friend who my heart is aching for now. She was absolutely the light of his life, and he loved her absolutely and completely. Anyone who ever looked at him look at her could see it in his eyes. Godspeed, friend. I will miss you. (Reply to this)

	bardling 2008-01-28 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	I didn't know Greg well, we only met briefly, at FKO I think, but I've enjoyed and followed with interest his post about his karate class. While I don't remember any particular conversation, I remember him as a balanced, positive, constructive, interesting, kind and thoughtful conversation partner on #filkhaven, including one-on-one conversations there. (Reply to this)

flabosib 2008-01-28 04:36 pm UTC (link)

There are many memories of your brother but the one that I have been holding on to for the last two days is the day Maya and Greg were married. The joy on Greg's face was so radiant and it made me feel really happy to know that he had found a person to share his life with. I remember praying that Maya and Greg would be as happy as your parents are and as happy as you and your dear wife are. I think he was. Love you and yours and always will. Please call on us if you need anything at any time. (You know us, the only time the entire household is asleep is between 2 and 6am.) (Reply to this)

	delennara 2008-01-28 04:47 pm UTC (link)
	We met only once in RL, but I remember that he borrowed me his mini disc-recorder, so I could record songs at the con. It impressed me as very trusting and kind towards me, who knew only from some vague online contacts. (Reply to this)

flabosib 2008-01-28 07:25 pm UTC (link)

When Greg lived in Boston, he joined a group of people who would get together on a regular basis to sing. They’d sing folk songs, filk songs (the folk of science fiction and fandom), parodies (some made up on the spot) and much merriment was always part of the evening. Several times, these gatherings would happen in our home (since my housemate is also a member of this group). I remember that one of the favorite songs, one that was almost always requested, was “Julian of Norwich” by Sydney Carter. They would usually sing it a capella and in four parts (and Greg would fill out the bass with his wonderful voice). For much of the last 18 hours, the words to the song have been running around in my head and I thought I’d share them. (In the song book, Rise Up Singing, the song is found in the section labeled “Hope”. Not a bad thing right now.) ** Julian of Norwich Sydney Carter Loud are the bells of Norwich and the people come and go Here by the tower of Julian I tell them what I know Ring out bells of Norwich and let the winter come and go All shall be well again, I know Love, like the yellow daffodil is coming thru the snow Love, like the yellow daffodil is Lord of all I know Ring out bells of Norwich and let the winter come and go All shall be well again, I know Ring, for the yellow daffodil the flower in the snow Ring for the yellow daffodil and tell them what I know Ring out bells of Norwich and let the winter come and go All shall be well again, I know All shall be well, I’m telling you: let the winter come and go All shall be well again, I know. (** When Maya and Greg were planning their wedding, I had asked the handbell choir at the church to consider playing this song as a special gift for the bride and groom. The bell choir director was worried that it was too difficult for our very beginner bell choir, so it didn’t happen, but it would have been a neat thing.) (Reply to this)

chinfuzzy 2008-01-28 08:08 pm UTC (link)

Ah, Greg and his minidisc recorder. If one came to the con, both did. When Mabel and I were listener guests at Concertino, we arranged a concert of other people performing our favorites. Greg recorded it, and spent a chunk of open-filking time feeding the recording into my laptop then burning a CD of the concert for Lois Mangan, while showing me how to use Audacity. I'll always remember that. Greg was incredibly generous with his time. (Reply to this)

	cflute 2008-01-28 08:33 pm UTC (link)
	*hands you box of kleenex and offers hug* (Reply to this)

a friend from college... musicjill 2008-01-28 08:33 pm UTC (link)

I hadn't kept in touch with greg, but I do know him from APO in college. my deepest condolences to you and your family, he was a sweet wonderful man. I remember the time when I was a poor undergraduate, stressed and not taking the time to stop and feed myself. we were in the sipb office then, and he stopped what he was doing, and took me off campus and treated me to some much needed pizza and listening. (also posted on faeryn's journal) (Reply to this)

otherdeb 2008-01-28 09:11 pm UTC (link)

I didn't know Greg as well as many others, but our paths did cross at cons and on #filkhaven. When my then non-sf houseguest (now fiance) first logged onto #filkhaven, Greg was one of the folks who very kindly helped him understand and acclimate to what he had fallen into... When I spent much of one filk con in almost meltdown, due to circumstances far beyond my control Greg was one of the people who took time to sit with me and reassure me that I would survive the sturm und drang. Greg will be sorely missed, even by those whose lives he touched only briefly. (Reply to this)

hr_macgirl 2008-01-28 09:52 pm UTC (link)

The first time I met Greg IRL was when I came up to Boston in April of 1990. We'd chatted before on irc, but hadn't met "in person". Still, he took time out of his schedule to invite my younger sister (who was with me) and I to go Easter egg colouring on Easter Sunday. I think that sums it up. He was so generous, so big hearted. A couple of years ago he was on campus for his 25th MIT reunion. I literally ran into him (we were both in the student center at the same time). sis!! he said, and my neck snapped around, as I knew that voice!! I ran up to him and leaped into his arms for a big hug. He laughed, with that Greg-laugh of his, that I can still hear. Maya probably wondered who the heck I was, at least until he introduced us. It was such a privilege to know him, to be his friend. The world is a poorer place without him and his laugh. Edited at 2008-01-28 09:54 pm UTC (Reply to this)

	What I remember most strongly about Greg... sounddude 2008-01-28 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	... is his smile, and his laughter. Even when life was difficult, he always seemed to maintain a positive outlook. Greg was just plain fun to be around. (Reply to this)

ccrazy 2008-01-29 12:20 am UTC (link)

I've known Greg since he first arrived at MIT and there are just so many memories. An lot of the ones that jump to mind also involve his mother. -- A few years after Greg graduated from MIT, he was living back in Pennsylvania at his folks place and would sometimes come up to Boston for the weekend and stay at our place. On one of these trips, Greg and I went into campus to play patrol (for those who aren't familar with it, think paintball but with the rubber dart guns you find at a toy store). During the game, Greg slipped and hit his head on the floor, necessitating a trip to the emergency room for stitches and to be checked for a concussion. After the emergency room released him, we went back to my place and somehow I wound up being the person who got to make the call to Greg's mother to explain what had happened and let her know we'd be keeping him for a few extra days until we were sure he was okay to make the drive home. The conversation went something like this: Me: Hi, this is Ellen Kranzer. Greg's Mom: What has my three year-old done now? -- My first introduction to the rest of Greg's family. December 1982. There was a APO National Convention in Kansas City, MO between Christmas and New Year's. After looking at the airfairs between the New York City area (where my parents lived)and KC, I decided that if I could find two other drivers it would be possible to drive without stopping for the night and that would be 1/3 the cost of flying. Before I knew it, I found myself with a carvan of 3 cars that involved 13 people starting from 7 different cities (if you count all of Long Island as 1 city :-)) One of the 13 was Greg, who we were slated to pick up at his parents home in Pennsylvania. Being the hyper-organized sort, I put together a contact list for everyone with how to each the other brothers in the caravan between when we left campus and when we'd start the trip. (Remember, this is long before email access at home or cell phones were common.) While I'm at my folks house, I get a call from Greg's mom and it quickly become apparent the person of this call is for her to check out this crazy person who is planning on taking her son half-way across the country and see if she's really going to permit it. I must have said the right things, because after about five minutes the entire tone of the conversation changed and suddenly rather than my trying to convince Greg's mom that it was okay to let her baby go on this trip, she's trying to convince me that this trip is perfectly reasonable and there's nothing to worry about and people have done far crazier things. She told me a whole series of stories about crazy trips she and Greg and made with the church youth group. I wish I could remember more of the specifics. I learned a lot about Greg -- and his mom, from that conversation. On December 26, I pulled up to Greg's house with my caravan; he introduced us to the family and we were on our way. Well, sort of, we had a few miscues getting back onto the highway. We put Greg in the lead car to give directions and, well, he tried to take a short cut got us a little lost. -- At that 1982 APO National Convention: [Quick explaination for the non-APO folk reading this, one of the activities at an APO National Convention is a legislative session. This works a lot like Congress -- there are committees that screen the proposed legislation.] One of the jobs that needs to be done at convention is Sgt-at-Arms which involves guarding commitee room doors and runing errands for the committes. Some of the committees run late into the night, and being your typical noctural MIT students Greg and I volunteered for a late shift. Something like, 10p-midnight or midnight-2am. We get to the end of the shift, and one committee is still meeting. The people who are in charge of the Sgt-at-Arms are nowhere to be found. We decide to stay on duty and the image that sticks in my mind is 4am, Greg standing "guarding the door" looking impressive wearing the official Sgt-at-Arms sash, only one thing is spoiling the look -- bare feet. There are so many other memories, but I need to go now. I will miss him. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-01-29 12:55 am UTC

(no subject) - flabosib, 2008-01-29 02:30 pm UTC

(no subject) - tikvah, 2008-01-29 08:34 pm UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-01-29 11:49 pm UTC

(no subject) - tikvah, 2008-01-30 12:10 am UTC

Greg's mother - (Anonymous), 2008-01-30 01:08 pm UTC

Condolences http://technorati.com/people/technorati/sskennel 2008-01-29 12:55 am UTC (link)

I was stunned and saddened to receive this news. Of course our thoughts are with you. Last year I had some experience with catastrophe in the family. If I could only pass on one thing I've learned from it, it would be to let your friends know what you and your family need and how they can help you, no matter how trivial your needs seem in comparison with what's happened. It will help you cope, and it will help your friends cope, too. -- Roger (Reply to this)

	ifics 2008-01-29 12:56 am UTC (link)
	Being here on the west coast, I did not know Greg. I will keep him and his family and friends in my prayers. (Reply to this)

From Randi Kestin (Anonymous) 2008-01-29 01:08 am UTC (link)

This is the very first time I've ever posted on one of these. I wish it wasn't for an occasion like this. Greg and most of our friends who knew me around Greg - would remember me as the person who always forgot his name. That was because he always showed up in such random places in my life when I first got to know him, and I'd always say "You look familiar..." to a chorus of rousing laughter! But in the relatively short time I've known him, Greg became a treasured friend - always there to lend a hand when I needed help with something such as helping to stage a surprise party for my husband Ezra. He very quickly forgave my amnesia, and was such a warm, loving, and supportive friend. Ezra and I were so touched when we were invited to his wedding to Maya. It was bittersweet for me, as I was happy for him, but at the same time so sad that he was moving so far away from his friends to live with her. His love for Maya and her children however was very obvious to all, and even though they lived far away in Virginia, Greg was always sure to check in with his friends back home in Massachusetts. I had always hoped to see Greg again. I'm still having a hard time processing this news. I'll miss him terribly. In my heart, Greg will never be forgotten. -Randi (Reply to this)

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